Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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