the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we're making bets on your personal life
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
