Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
