I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
