I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
