he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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