i think my tv is drunk
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
