okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
