spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
