Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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