oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
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