You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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