Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
COCAINE IS GR8
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize