shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
