She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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