Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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