margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
