Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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