My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize