So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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