TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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