you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
