Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
