Fuck appropriateness.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize