So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
