For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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