just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
