i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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