remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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