dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
