awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
