did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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