i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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