Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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