but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
