Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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