someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
