Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
