Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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