How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize