Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
