I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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