my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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