If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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