I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize