If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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