two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
