So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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