Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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