i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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