He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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