the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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