I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
