friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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