Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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