Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
