I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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