I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
