last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
PANTIES FOUND
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