eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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