It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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