margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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