yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
