I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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