THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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