He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
