well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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