those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
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You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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