What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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